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4. Relationship Problems
Sometimes no amount of spontaneity or variety might seem to work, and there could be some issues between you and your partner that have been brewing for quite some time and haven’t yet been let out. Unresolved conflict or unexpressed anger can definitely put a damper on desire, as can negative feelings, secrets or emotional upset. As you carry around negative feelings about your partner, your level of attraction for that person can wane dramatically, sometimes never to return.

Whatever it is you feel about your partner, it would be a good idea to communicate and discuss the issue before it becomes too big to handle. Nothing solves conflict better than a good honest talk. As any therapist or self-help book will tell you, communication is the key to any relationship. If you don't talk through your problems with your partner, they'll grow and fester until they explode into real conflict.
If talking to one another doesn't work, talk to a therapist: couples therapy is becoming more and more common. If that doesn't work, see a sex therapist -- the problem could have deeper roots than you're aware of. If you're still having problems, it might be time to say good-bye. It's sad, but you have to face reality: sex is an important part of your life and your relationship. It's essential that you enjoy it.

5. Body Issues
Even the most well endowed people probably have some issues about their body. There’s always something about our bodies that we dislike: whether its jiggly thighs, curved penises, small breasts, fat bellies or hairy backs. But to enjoy our sex, we have to learn to enjoy our bodies too. Start by focusing on your positive aspects, and keep them in mind when you look at yourself over the mirror. Start thinking sexy and you will feel sexy. And once you do, it’s a whole lot easier to get your sex drive going. If your body issues need attention, take action by seeking help from either a fitness counselor or a doctor. Rule out what you can and can’t change about your body. And learn to accept and be proud of what you’ve got.

6. Baby Blues
Pregnancy, and the changes it brings to female bodies, can certainly affect the sexual environment of couples. Some people feel uncomfortable having sex during a pregnancy. For women, the fluctuating levels of hormone can definitely affect sexual libido.
And when the baby arrives, the 3am feedings, the tension of baby care, and the excitement of a new member in the family can all serve to diminish thoughts of sexual activity.

At such a time, the most important thing is to continue to be intimate with each other, and not just focus on sex. There are many ways of intimacy that can provide just as much pleasure as sex. Find the ones that suit you and your partner best. Expressing yourself completely and being considerate and understanding of each other is the healthiest way to deal with such a situation. Pretty soon, the baby blues will disappear, and you may both experience a renewal of sexual libido that will make your sex as gratifying as it had been in the past.

7. Aging
Age has a way of creeping up on us, and many unwelcome physical changes may occur: painful joints, gray hair, incontinence, sleep disorder, wrinkles and sagging flesh, among other things. Menopause and decreased testosterone production are the prime reasons for a decrease in sexual libido, but even the fear, anxiety and stress about ageing can also cause a loss of sexual drive.
In such cases, seeking medical treatment or talking to your doctor will help you to understand completely the changes going on with your body, and allow you to find the right remedy. Certain medications exist to allow you to still enjoy sex despite menopause or decreasing levels of testosterone.

8. Sexual Abuse
The trauma of sexual abuse often prevents its victims from experiencing healthy and enjoyable sex. Counseling, therapy and lots of patience and understanding can allow people to recover and finally get to renew their sexual desire. Take as much time as you need to heal, and don’t let anyone (including yourself) pressure you into becoming intimate again until you are fully ready.

9. Medication
People under some types of medication often experience a decrease in their sexual libido. Birth control pills, antidepressants and tranquilizers are known to have side effects that include a temporary loss of sexual desire.

Until recently, the only remedies were to reduce your dosage, change your medication, take a holiday from your antidepressants or take a medical antidote, which can cause further difficulties. However, some doctors think that taking Viagra ® may help people using antidepressants. Or you might try ginkgo biloba, which is thought to help with lack of desire related to taking Paxil and other antidepressants. Recent studies have shown the antidepressant Wellbutrin to be effective in combating reduced sexual desire, so you might consider switching antidepressants if your doctor says it's okay. If you notice a drop in your sexual desire around the time you start a new medication, talk to your doctor to see if there is a connection. Just remember: do not stop taking any medication without talking to your doctor first.

10. Medical Dysfunction
Although the more commonly known medical dysfunctions are erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and female sexual desire disorder, there are other dysfunctions that contribute to a decrease in sexual libido. A thyroid condition or hormone deficiencies are just two of them. A metabolic disorder -- anything that adversely affects your metabolism (including an eating disorder, accident, trauma or illness) will almost undoubtedly cause some lack of sexual desire. And, did you know that one in five American women have hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), more commonly referred to as low sex drive? The point is, if you've ruled out all other possibilities for your decreased libido, see a doctor. You could very well have an easily remedied medical condition.

If you've become frustrated about your lack of sexual appetite, try to go easy on yourself. Everyone's body is different. There is no "normal" level of sex drive. Your personal sense of normality is defined by how you feel about your sexuality and whether or not you're happy with how you are expressing it.

If you're one of the lucky people who are perfectly comfortable with his or her sexuality, congratulate yourself. If you're like the millions of others who feel they could use a little boost, explore the remedies we've suggested. But don't expect a miracle ... while some of these recommendations have worked for many people, there's no guarantee they will work for you. Be patient. Seek proper medical advice. And take things positively. No point in causing yourself further stress and anxiety.

For a temporary solution, go solo with a sex toy or two, start slowly until you get more comfortable with sex again. Taking it as play and looking at the fun side can certainly help keep it light and easy. And eat some chocolates. Haven’t you heard? They’re aphrodisiacs!

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