Sexual libido can be an unpredictable thing, making sex life something like a roller coaster ride. One minute you’re at a height, and the next you’ll feel like you’ve hit a slump. Confused and worried about it? Don’t be. If you happen to be experiencing a decrease in your sexual libido, realize that it’s perfectly normal and happens to the best of us.

The first thing to understand is that sex drive and sexual arousal are two different things. Sex drive or desire refers to your interest in sex, while sexual arousal refers to your body’s physical response, such as the lubrication of the vagina for women or the ability to have an erection for men. People with higher sexual libidos find little difficulty getting aroused. Conversely, those who have difficulty getting aroused might experience a drop in libido over time. If sexual arousal is not a problem, but libido seems to be low, then a doctor or health care provider might look at certain factors as possible causes for the decline in sex drive.

1. Changes in the pace and activities of your life
If you suddenly find yourself in the thick of things, handling a lot more responsibilities at work or at home, and become increasingly burdened by a hectic schedule, you might experience a decline in your sexual drive, which suddenly takes a back seat in the face of all that frenzy. Between work, kids, friendships, school, hobbies, volunteer work, homemaking and exercise, there just doesn't seem to be time for sex. When we do get a minute of free time, often the last thing we want to do is spend it in an amorous cuddle. And it isn’t that you don’t want to have sex, it’s just that you don’t seem to have the time for it.

2. Stress, Fear and Anxiety
Nothing could douse your sex drive faster than stress. When stress, fear or anxiety hits you, sex will most likely be the farthest thing from your mind, and with good reason. Work dilemmas, relationship woes, family issues and money problems can be devastating to our libidos: it's hard to feel sexy when you're worried about the mortgage payment. Some might even be stressed out about sex itself, harboring fears of sexually transmitted diseases or maybe feeling inadequate about one’s sexual performance. Such fears and anxieties can certainly dampen your mood, and hamper your chance to have a satisfying experience.

The best step to combat stress is to ensure you maintain a healthy body as well as a healthy mind. Keep yourself fit, exercise regularly, eat a balanced diet and have as much rest as you can. While you’re at it, help your mind de-stress by finding some relaxation and meditation techniques that would work for you. Strengthen your mind by spending time doing things that are good for you, like reading, interacting with people. Find an outlet or hobby such as gardening or even writing in a journal. With both a healthy mind and a healthy body, you are better equipped to face the stressful things that are a part of everyone’s life, and ensure you don’t have to take the burdens with you all the way to the bedroom.
If you’ve tried all these techniques, and still feel that stress, fear or anxiety is damaging your libido, you might try to consider seeking professional help. If you are comfortable with the idea, see a sex therapist. Otherwise, talking to a psychologist, marriage counselor, or life coach might help you feel better and find a solution to allow you to enjoy sex more.

 

An over familiarity with your present partner might sometimes lead to a decrease in your sex drive. After spending quite a long time together, things sometimes aren’t just as exciting anymore. By that time, you've pretty much done it all ... and have ruled out or forgotten about anything else you haven't tried. Even couples who have been dating for only a few months can get into a sexual rut after the first flush of puppy love has worn off.